Sailing the seven internets since dial-up
For one month, I ate nothing a 1700s sailor couldn't have stowed below deck — hardtack, salted pork, and a grog so sad my friends staged an intervention. Here's the full log of my culinary mutiny against the 21st century.
Remember when pirates were the bad guys raiding content on the high seas? Turns out the streaming platforms learned the trade — hoarding, ransoming, and making whole libraries walk the plank. A nostalgic look at how we lost the golden age of the internet.
Seven days of 4 a.m. watch shifts, hammock sleeping, and diet grog — all in the name of journalism. Here's my logbook from the U.S.S. Studio Apartment, and the surprising parts of pirate life I'm actually keeping.
Dry eyes, creaky knees, and a mysterious fondness for citrus — sound familiar? Turns out your cubicle and the gun deck of a man-of-war have more in common than HR would like to admit. A deeply unqualified guide to pirate-era medicine for the modern office worker.
Once upon a time, American workplaces had themed parties, and some of them involved tricorn hats and plastic swords. We mourn the loss of the corporate pirate costume day and propose a quarterly truce in the war on workplace whimsy.
Blackbeard didn't just exist in movies — he haunted real coves, inlets, and islands you can stand on this summer. We rank six genuine pirate-adjacent American destinations, separate the treasure from the tourist traps, and dig up the strangest true story at each stop.
There's a shadow economy running on eyeliner, tricorn hats, and the phrase 'arrr' deployed with perfect timing. We talked to the reenactors, ren faire regulars, and cruise-ship buccaneers who've turned playing pirate into a full-time job — and it's more competitive than you'd think.
Tiki drinks never really walked the plank — they just went below deck for a few decades. From TikTok mixologists to dive-bar scurvy specials, nautical drinking culture is making a full-throated comeback, and we've got the beginner-friendly recipes to prove it.
Talk Like a Pirate Day started as an Oregon bar bet and somehow ended up on Krispy Kreme menus nationwide. We chart the course of America's most successful manufactured holiday — and admit we're not even mad about it.
Before you toss that shoebox of old tech, take a closer look — those AOL trial discs and floppy disks might be worth real doubloons to collectors. Here's your treasure map to the physical relics of the early internet.
Turns out actual pirates probably never bellowed 'yo ho ho' while hoisting rum — that honor goes to a Scottish novelist with a flair for the dramatic. We dig into how Robert Louis Stevenson accidentally wrote the entire pirate dictionary, and which 'authentic' sayings are pure Hollywood.
Every dead website is a shipwreck, and we've got a map. From GeoCities' neon-lit under-construction gifs to Flash game portals that ate entire childhoods, here are seven beloved sites that sank — and the storms that took them down.